【罌粟香。春暮花殘的荼蘼】

※ [本文轉錄自 RyanPark 看板]

"Good Will Hunting"，即使看了七、八遍，它的對話永遠那麼吸引我，

在此特別摘錄兩段我最愛的對白跟大家分享。



"Oh, Christ. But, Will, she's been dead two years, and that's the shit

I



remember. It's wonderful stuff, you know? Little things like that. Ah,

but,



those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncracies that

only I



knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on

me



too. She knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things



imperfections. But they're not. Ah……that's the good stuff. And then

we get



to choose who we let our weird worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And

let me



save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But

the



question is whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the

whole



deal. That's what intimacy is all about . Now, you can know everything

in the



world, sport, but the only way you're findin' out that one is by givin'

it a



shot. You certainly won't learn it from an old fucker like me. Even if

I did



know, I wouldn't tell a pissant like you."



"So, if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on

Every art



book ever written. Michelangelo. You know a lot about him: life's work,



political aspirations, him and the Pope, sexual orientation, the whole

works,



right? But I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine

Chapel.



You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful

ceiling…



seen that. If I ask you about women, you'll probably give me a syllabus

of



your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But

you



can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel

truly



happy. You're a tough kid. And I ask you about war, you'd probably, uh,

throw



Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more unto the breach, dear friends…"

But



you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head

in your



lap…and watched him gasp his last breath, lookin' to you for help. I

ask you



about love, you'll probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked

at a



woman and been totally vulnerable……known someone that could level you

with



her eyes……feelin' like God put an angel on earth just for you……who

could



rescue you from the depths of hell……and you wouldn't know what it's

like to



be her angel……to have that love for her, be there forever…through

anything



…through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sittin' up in a



hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors

could see



in your eyes that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You

don't



know about real loss……'cause that only occurs when you love something

more



than you love yourself.I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that

much. I



look at you.I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky,



scared-shitless kid. But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that. No

one



could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know



everything about me, because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my



fuckin' life apart. You're an orphan, right? Do you think I know the

first



thing about how hard your life has been? How you feel? Who you are?

Because I



read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give

a shit



about all that. Because you know what? I can't learn anything from you

I



can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless, you wanna talk about you…who

you



are. Then I 'm fasci ated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that, do

you,



sport? You're terrified of what you might say."





--



「眼淚的存在，是為了證明悲傷不是一場幻覺。」

～羅蘭巴特《戀人絮語》



羅蘭巴特提出理論，而我證實。







「天哪，她去世兩年了，而那是我記得的事。像那樣的小事很奇妙，那是我最想念的事，



這些小特點讓她成為我太太。她也知道我所有的小瑕庛，人們稱之為不完美。其實不然，



那才是好東西，能選擇讓誰進入我們的世界。你並不完美，我不吊你胃口，你認識的女生



也不完美，問題是你們是否完美地合適。親密關係就是這麼一回事，你可以知道全世界的



事，但發掘的方法就是去嘗試。你不能跟我這個糟老頭學，就算我知道我也不告訴你。」



「所以問你藝術，你可能會提出藝術書籍中的粗淺論調，有關米開朗基羅，你知道很多，



他的政治抱負、他和教皇…性傾向，所有作品，對嗎？但你不知道西斯汀教堂的氣味，你



從沒站在那兒觀賞美麗的天花板，我看過。如果我問關於女人的事，你八成會說出個人偏



好的謬論，你可能上過幾次床，但你說不出在女人身旁醒來很幸福的滋味。問戰爭，你會



說莎士比亞的話"共赴戰場，親愛的朋友"，但你從沒接近過戰爭，從沒有把好友的頭抱在



膝蓋上，看著他吐出最後一口氣。問愛情，你會引述十四行詩，但你沒看過女人的脆弱，



她能以雙眼擊倒你，感覺上帝讓天使為你下凡，她能從地獄救出你，你不了解當她天使的



滋味，擁有對她的愛，直到永遠，經歷這一切，經歷癌症。你無法體會在醫院睡兩個月，



因為醫生一看到你就知道，會客時間的規定對你無效。你不瞭解真正的失去，唯有愛別人



勝於自己才能體會。我懷疑你敢那樣愛人。看著你，我沒看到聰明自信，我看到被嚇傻的



狂妄孩子，但你是天才，沒人能否認，沒人能瞭解你的深度，但你看我的畫就認定了解我



，你把我的人生撕裂了。你是孤兒，對吧？你想我會知道你日子有多苦、你的感受、你是



誰，是因為我看過孤雛淚嗎？太簡化你了嗎？我不在乎，因為你知道嗎？我不能靠任何書



籍認識你，除非你想談自己，談你是誰，那我就著迷了，我願意加入，但你不想那麼做，



對嗎？你怕你會被說出來的話嚇到。」